


Blinding Light

by Winterfellrose



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: 3x10 divergent, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:27:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24242806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterfellrose/pseuds/Winterfellrose
Summary: 3x10 AU – What if Anne had confronted Gilbert about not responding to her letter?
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Comments: 9
Kudos: 200





	Blinding Light

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the beginning of 3x10, but Gilbert hasn’t written his letter. An AU look at what could’ve happened if Anne and Gilbert had a moment to finally communicate.

_I exist in two places, here and where you are. – Margaret Atwood_

“I am done thinking about Gilbert Blythe,” Anne said aloud, collapsing on her bed.

Earlier that morning her heart had been racing as she walked to Miss Stacy’s home. She had been nervous for her Queen’s exam results, of course, but also to see Gilbert for the first time since the night at the ruins. He still hadn’t said anything since he left her note at his house . . . since he went to Charlottetown to propose.

What she hadn’t expected was for him to refuse to say anything to her besides a word of congratulations on her exam results. Could he really be so unmoved over her declaration of love?

Anne reached over to the pocket dictionary lying on her nightstand and opened it, her thumb tracing over his words on the inside cover. _So you can beat me fair and square._

She let out a groan of frustration. What did it matter? His silence as as pointed of a rejection as any. He made his choice, and it wasn’t her.

“Anne?” Marilla’s voice called.

“Coming!” Anne responded. She quickly threw the pocket dictionary in the box under her bed and left her room to join Marilla downstairs.

***  
  


Gilbert Blythe had made a mess of things.

A week ago, he had been happily going along with his courtship with Winnifred. It felt easy – uncomplicated, even. He enjoyed Winnifred's presence and never had any doubts over how she felt about him. It was all going smoothly until the day he was faced with the possibility of the Sorbonne and spending the rest of his life with her.

Gilbert ran a hand over his face. Where had it gone so wrong?

 _You never loved her,_ a part of him whispered.

No, instead his heart belonged to someone who didn’t return his feelings. If he was being honest with himself, he had always known there was a slim chance that Anne would feel the same for him. Her words at the ruins, although unintelligible, had confirmed what he had always known.

Gilbert sighed, staring down at his kitchen table. Earlier that morning, when he saw Anne at Miss Stacy’s house, he felt paralyzed, his throat to tight to say anything other than a quick congratulations for placing first on the exam. He had wanted to take her aside and tell her the true extent of his feelings, but the words died in his throat the moment he looked into her eyes.

A sudden noise jolted him out of his thoughts. Gilbert looked up and was greeted by Bash who had just walked in the kitchen door, holding Delly in his arms.

“How you feeling, Blythe?” Bash asked.

“Good,” he replied, standing up to take Delly in his arms. She cooed at him, extending her tiny fists towards his face.

“Good.” There was a brief pause before Bash sighed and said, “I have to tell you something.”

Gilbert looked up at Bash over Delly’s head, his eyebrows raised.

“I just ran into Marilla and Rachel. We were catching up and then they invited us to have dinner with them tomorrow night at Green Gables.”

“We’ll be having dinner with Mrs. Lynde and . . . the Cuthberts?” Gilbert repeated slowly.

Bash nodded nervously. “Is that all right? After . . . you know.”

Gilbert paused, thinking. If he went to Toronto, he likely wouldn’t see Anne again for months, perhaps ever. With a sigh, he looked up at Bash and nodded. “Yes,” he reassured him. “In fact I wanted to speak with Anne before I left.”

Bash clapped him on the shoulder. “You’re no longer the moke I met back on the ship,” he said, grinning. “This will be good for you.”

Gilbert nodded. “It will.”

***

“You _what?!”_ Anne exclaimed.

Marilla looked at her warily as she poured her cup of tea. “It wasn’t my idea. Rachel – you know how Rachel is – she was so excited to hear you and Gilbert placed first on the Queen’s entrance exam and suggested having a dinner tomorrow to celebrate.”

“You could have declined!” When Marilla raised an eyebrow, she continued desperately, “You could have – you could have lied and said we were busy . . . packing?”

Marilla shook her head. “I would do no such thing,” she said sternly. When she saw Anne’s pained expression, her face softened. “Oh Anne, I know this is difficult, but Gilbert won’t be the only one there. Bash will be joining us as well.”

Anne sighed. “I know, but . . .” she trailed off, remembering the furtive glances they shared earlier. She stopped herself, shaking her head. “Actually, I’m going to be fine. Gilbert and I are friends and it’s just dinner, we’ve done this countless times before.”

Marilla handed her cup of tea and reached over to Anne to squeeze her shoulder. “You brave, brave girl,” she said softly. “We’re so proud of you, Anne. When you first arrived at Green Gables, you were a small, timid thing, but look at how much you’ve grown! You placed first on the Queens exam!” She smiled at Anne, her eyes shining with tears.

Anne reached over to embrace Marilla fully. “Thank you,” she whispered into her shoulder. “Thank you for taking me in and loving me.”

Marilla gave a watery laugh. “Once you started talking, we couldn’t stop ourselves from loving you even if we tried.”

Anne squeezed Marilla harder. With her heart so full of love like this, she could almost feel her worries slip away.

***

Mrs. Lynde had arrived early to help Marilla with dinner. The two of them were chatting amiably but Anne wasn’t listening. She was in the dining area, preparing the table for their guests. She had felt withdrawn all day. Her future suddenly felt so daunting. She wasn’t ready to leave Green Gables, she realized. Matthew had been strangely aloof, making preparations for her departure almost as if he was ready for her to leave. To make matters worse, Diana, her dearest bosom friend, had told her last night that her parents forbid her from attending Queens.

And of course there was the fact that Gilbert was marrying the woman of his dreams.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the knock at her door. Marilla went to the door. “Bash, Gilbert! Thank you for joining us.”

“No thank you Marilla,” Sebastian replied warmly as he and Gilbert entered the kitchen. Anne felt her breath catch at the sight of Gilbert, but something about him was off. His posture was tense – stiff, almost – and his first was clenched at his side. His eyes quickly darted around the room, caught her gaze, and looked away again.

 _Is my presence so unwelcome?_ Anne thought bitterly.

As Anne and Matthew helped usher them towards the dining table, Anne tried to pay no more attention to Gilbert than she needed to. Sebastian was explaining how they had to leave Delly at home with Mrs. Lacroix, but Anne was half listening. While everyone took their seats, making small conversation, it struck Anne that this may be the last time she would see Gilbert.

“So, Gilbert,” Mrs. Lynde began, her lips forming into a sly smile. “Congratulations on your high marks! I have no doubt they will help you secure your future. In fact, I hear you’ll moving to Paris with your betrothed?”

Gilbert opened his mouth and closed it before clearing his throat and replying, “I actually plan to attend the University of Toronto. Mrs. Stacy is sending a telegram to her friend to help me obtain a late admission. I am hoping to hear from them within a week.”

Anne blinked. Gilbert wasn’t looking at her, instead choosing to focus on his plate as he moved food around with his fork listlessly. She bit her lip. She wanted to ask about the Sorbonne and Winnifred but chose to remain quiet instead. He was still engaged, he just wanted to stay closer to Avonlea . . . right?

Mrs Lynde continued, oblivious to the questions buzzing in Anne’s mind, “How wonderful! You will make a fine student at the university of your choosing.” Mrs. Lynde raised her glass, looking around the table. “To Avonlea’s brightest students – may your futures continue to be filled with success and happiness!”

As everyone raised their glasses, Anne instinctively felt her eyes drawn to Gilbert’s. His eyes met hers, his hazel eyes melting into hers for an instant before quickly looking away again.

***

Gilbert had mentally prepared himself for dinner, assuring himself that it would not be awkward as he feared it would be.

He was wrong, of course.

The dinner was going well as everyone shared stories and, in Mrs. Lynde’s case, the latest Avonlea gossip (“Muriel is impossible, I say! I’ve sent her numerous eligible young men and she has yet to officially court any of them!”). Overall, everyone was comfortable as easy conversations went back and forth.

Save for himself.

Bash, picking up on his discomfort, would occasionally poke fun at Gilbert to make him laugh, such as sharing with everyone how awful of a singer he is. Still, he shouldn’t have found this to be so difficult. He’d known Anne for years and had dinner with her family more times than he could count. So why was there a lump in his throat whenever he quickly glanced over at Anne, who somehow always felt his gaze?

“Let’s retreat to the parlor, shall we?” Matthew announced after they finished dinner.

Everyone stood up, their chairs scraping against the floor, as they headed toward the parlor. Anne stayed behind, collecting their plates to bring to the kitchen. Gilbert lingered as well, waiting. This was his opportunity to speak frankly with her one last time, to unburden his heart before they parted ways.

However, once Anne finished, she made a bee line toward the door, heading outside without sparing a glance in his direction.

Gilbert hesitated. What was the word for someone who foolishly chooses to start a conversation that can only result in pain? _(Again.)_

M-a-s-o-c-h-i-s-t.

With a shaky breath, Gilbert followed her, drawn to her as a moth to a flame.

***

She heard the door open and close gently behind her. Without looking she knew it was Gilbert.

He eased himself down the step beside her. They sat together in silence for a while, staring out over the Green Gables farm as fireflies twinkled lazily in the cool summer air. “Unbelievable, isn’t it?” Gilbert murmured. “One day we’re in study group preparing for our exam and now we’re about to start the rest of our lives.”

Gilbert sighed and looked at her. She looked into his eyes, her heart racing. There was so much she wanted to say – _What happened with Winnifred? Did you even bother reading what I wrote? Did you mean what you said that night at the ruins?_ – but instead she simply said, “I know, I can’t believe it either.”

He nodded and looked down. Another moment passed in silence.

She hugged her knees to her chest. “I wish I could just stay at Green Gables, go to school, and do my chores. It’s strange, before the exams I was excited about starting a new adventure at Queens but now that it’s here I don’t want to go.”

Gilbert nodded. “I know,” he murmured. Another beat passed. “Oh – that reminds me, I have something for you.”

He shuffled through his pocket and he withdrew her fountain pen, handing it to her. Anne took it, staring down at the pen numbly. “Sorry I forgot to return this to you,” he said quietly, smiling. “Thanks for the pen.”

Suddenly something within her snapped. “ _Really_ Gilbert?” she blurted.

Gilbert tensed, leaning away from her. “What?”

“‘Thanks for the pen?’ That’s all you have to say to me?” Anne snapped, feeling the heat rising to her face. “World class, truly!”

His mouth hung open. “What? I don’t understand –”

Anne crossed her arms across her chest, her temper rising. “For a week you’ve been callously ignoring the letter I wrote to you! After all these years, I didn’t realize you could be so unfeeling as to –”

“What letter?” He shook his head, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion. “Anne, I swear to you I don’t know letter you’re referring to.”

Anne opened her mouth to snap back at him but when she looked into his eyes she could see the truth written plainly. _He never read it._

“Oh,” she breathed. He hadn’t read what she wrote but she was too late anyway, she realized. Anne looked down, her shoulders slumped. She felt the familiar crush of defeat she had felt when she had visited Gilbert’s house one last time only to find out he went to Charlottetown. Perhaps this was her tragical romance after all.

“Anne?” She turned to look at Gilbert. He was staring at her intently. “What did you . . . what did it say?”

Something in his expression stirred a longing within her that she had tried to push aside for the past week. It felt like broken slates, spelling competitions, letters written to a distant land, hands clapsed together during dance practice, and drunken words in the shadow of a blazing fire.

Anne had spent most of her life lost, drifting from one home to the next, until she found love and acceptance in Green Gables. Thanks to Matthew and Marilla, she felt as if she finally belonged somewhere.

But it wasn’t just them, it was also Gilbert – in spite of the arguments, classroom rivalry, distance spanning thousands of miles – who grounded her to Avonlea. Had she always known?

He felt like home.

“Anne?” Gilbert repeated.

Anne took a shaky breath. She had meant to speak with him openly since she realized the true extent of her feelings. This was finally her chance, even if his heart was already claimed by another. “I left a letter at your house after the ruins. I wrote that I was no longer confused and that I realized I . . . I love you.” Gilbert froze, his eyes wide. “I know you’re engaged, and Winnifred is lovely, but –”

Her words were cut off by his mouth crashing into hers. Anne had written romance stories over the years, but even her endless imagination couldn’t have captured the all-encompassing feeling she was experiencing. The world faded away, only to be eclipsed by the sensation of his soft lips moving against hers. He raised a hand to cup her cheek, trembling slightly.

After a fleeting moment – or perhaps a lifetime – he drew back, looking as dazed as she felt.

“I – what?” Anne shook her head, feeling too breathless to speak.

“I’m not engaged,” Gilbert said softly. “Nor will I be, unless . . . Anne, you must know, there is nobody else for me but you. It always has been and always will be you.”

Instinctively Anne reached down to pinch her wrist. “Ow!” she gasped, looking down. “I just had to check. I have a very good imagination so I had to be sure . . . this is real.”

“You truly have feelings for me?” He looked at her, his expression torn between disbelief and wonder.

Wordlessly, she reached forward and kissed him. This time the kiss felt like a promise, a beginning of something new. She moved her hands to cradle the back of his neck while he buried his hand in her hair. He angled his face, deepening the kiss, as if to breathe her in.

When they broke apart, she whispered against his lips, “I love you.”

He was quiet for a moment before he murmured, “I love you too, my Anne with an e.” She felt him smile.

They jumped apart when they heard voices growing louder behind them. Anne glanced over her shoulder and saw Bash and Mrs. Lynde speaking with Marilla in the kitchen.

“I think I have to go,” Gilbert said as they both stood up. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

Anne nodded, still feeling lightheaded. “I’ll come by tomorrow at noon?”

“I’ll see you then.”

The door opened and Bash stepped out. He glanced curiously between Gilbert and Anne. “Ready, Blythe?”

“Yes,” he said, before turning back to Anne. “Oh and Anne, if I go to Toronto . . . let’s be pen pals?”

Anne laughed. “As you'll likely recall I have a very nice fountain pen.”

Gilbert nodded and laughed, looking more relaxed than she had seen him in months. “Good night,” he said softly before turning to leave with Bash. Anne watched their retreating figures and felt, for the first time since the Queens entrance exams, ready for the future ahead of her.

Tomorrow felt like the beginning of a new adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I’m (very) rusty with my writing, but any feedback would be lovely! I hope you are all staying safe during these uncertain times. ❤️


End file.
